Seeking More Orange

...seeking orange to stimulate my enthusiasm for life and my creativity during these short days of winter, I found it many places today.....the setting sun through my tangled garden.....
......the glowing warmth of the sun rewarded me several minutes later.....

.....frozen from being outside I turned on my ice lights that turn the old wooden armoir a soft glowing orange...

...finally I lit beeswax candles in my favourite mosaic candle holders....

Add ORANGE color gemstones when you want:
to spice things up when time is dragging
to become more involved in just living life
to increase creativity and enthusiasm
relief from boredom
Too little ORANGE and we lose our motivation, our self esteem suffers, and we have a tendency to isolate

...I needed the orange today.......

Suffering in Silence

I love snowstorms, as long as I can observe them through a window . I'm very nervous driving in them so today's storm allowed me to stay home from school again and sleep. I slept the day away again in my very quiet house -due in large part to the new medication I'm on for pain....and then there is the Gravol I took for the terrible nausea the pain medication gave me. It has been a crappy way to start the new year but to look for a positive I have been able to sleep the past 3 days, something I haven't done much of since I fell on Dec. 24. For someone who is active all the time it has been very discouraging to not even be able to walk the dog. Yesterday, I did go to school -not a good idea -I felt dizzy and disorientated in the morning, nauseous all afternoon with a terrible headache. When I got home I walked with Nellie about 30 feet into the backyard and had to empty my stomach contents into the garbage can in the shed. That was it -came in and went to bed and have just got up now -it is about 3:30 pm. on Wed. Buses were cancelled in our school board today due to the storm so I didn't miss another day with the kids. I'm taking myself off the latest pain med. as I cannot tolerate the way it makes me feel. I think the pain in the ribs is more tolerable than this. I joined a Creative Every Day challenge and so far all I've managed are some doodles with both left and right hands, 2 knitted dish clothes and several inches on what will be another knitted purse. Really just busy work ,but I have managed to take some photos.... that does involve a little more creativity. I have to think positively...next week will be better.

In Memory of Phantom

After 19 years of sharing our lives, Phantom peacefully passed away 2 years ago today. She has lived up to her name and still visits us - usually at night, we feel her walking across the bed. Both my husband and I have felt her presence. She came to us as a stray with her 4 kittens, and of course we kept them all (later we gave 2 of the kittens to my sister) They all lived long and happy lives with us but sadly all the kittens died before their sweet little mom. Everybody loved Phantom...we miss her still....

Cat Poem
They will not go quietly,the cats who've shared our lives.In subtle ways they let us knowtheir spirit still survives.Old habits still make us thinkwe hear a meow at the door.Or step back when we dropa tasty morsel on the floor.Our feet still go around the placethe food dish used to be,And, sometimes, coming home at night,we miss them terribly.And although time may bring new friendsand a new food dish to fill,That one place in our heartsbelongs to them. . . and always will.
- Linda Barnes
This metal kitty marks her gave beneath the pine trees where she liked to spend the hot part of the day during summer

Wildlife

Fox watching has always been an exciting part of living here on the farm. This picture was taken through a window last year by my neighbour Emile. Freddy, visited Emile's bird feeder often last year, in late afternoon as he was heading out for his evening hunt. He was beautiful - sleek, healthy glowing red coat with a big bushy tail. He had a well worn path that led across our backyards. He lived beneath an abandoned farm building on the property to our west. He would stop to drink from our creek, which is behind our barn, and runs all year no matter what the temperature, perhaps do a little hunting for mice along the edge of the field, run along the edge of The Throwaway Forest, visit the birdfeeder of my neighbour, then head off east or north to the neighbouring fields or forested areas for the night. We often saw him, in fact he often watched us, unafraid. I am always wary of the wild animals here as rabies is common, but we knew this fellow's habits. Sometimes JJ would see him following the tractor and mower in the summer if he was mowing laneways on the farm -the mowing disturbed the mice and sent them scurring for new cover making it easy for Freddy to catch his dinner. In the winter, I like to look for tracks to see what animals and birds have been visiting overnight and we would often comment on his activities based on the tracks.

For many years a female fox occupied the same den, and we got to see the young foxes come out to play in the early evenings - if the wind was blowing in the right direction so we could hide undetected. Any sightings were always reported to the family even if it was daily. One year, I was weeding my flower beds after a rainy stretch to discover a very tiny fox cub, just meters away from my back door, cowering in the flower bed. I knew right away he was sick so I grabbed a heavier pair of work gloves and a rabbit cage with a flip top, cautiously came up behind the little cub, picked him up by the scruff and put him in the cage. Poor little thing was frightened but really too sick from exposure to put up any fight. He may have been a runt or simply got lost......the boys wanted to adopt him and make him better - but he died that night. My friend, who is a vet, had taken him to keep an eye on him before we decided what to do with him. He was sent away for rabies testing, but he was clear.

Last spring the neighbours on both sides and ourselves all noted Freddy's absence -perhaps he had moved on????? Then sadly we learned the truth. It seemed, not all the neighbours in our area shared our fascination with watching the wildlife from afar. One thought there were too many fox in our area and decided to get rid of them all -he found the new den of the female and watched for the male along his pathway and shot them -seven in total. So sad. But yesterday we were delighted to see another young male bounding through the snow.....perhaps looking for a new home......

A Cold New Year's Blanket

New Year's Day dawned with clear blue skies , a dazzling sun and bitterly cold temperatures. After being couped up in the house for a few days giving my body the rest it needed, I just had to get out. Bundled up against the -25 C wind chill, Nellie and I ventured first into The Throwaway Forest. It is an area of about 3 acres that once was the paddock for my horses, but over the past 30 years has been tranformed into my own little forest close to home. The name came from the first trees and shrubs planted there, that were all given to us by relatives, friends neighbours, even strangers -"I have these trees that I want to get rid of...." they'd say. "Sure, we'll take them..." and thus a forest was born. The horses were sold as increasing demands on our time with 2 young boys took precidence over time with my beauties -I could have kept them to look at but they were too good to do that -horses like dogs need to be worked -alot. Trees can be be watched from afar when you get too busy and I love trees too. We still plant trees every year and in the summer I mow winding pathways among the trees and wildflower meadows that Nellie and I walk every day. It is the first place that all the kids that come to visit want to go -any time of the year -I feel good passing that love of the trees on to the little ones......

After warming up in the house, Nellie and I went down along the river to get a closer look at the ice covered rocks and the freezing river. The patterns that the river ice take on are quite spectacular when viewed up close. It won't take long at these temperatures for all the little bays to freeze over, then the main channels will jam up with floating bits of ice then the real freezing will begin. The main channels will always be changing -the ice comes and goes due to the strong currents. It can be very dangerous for foolish people and the innocent animals that unknowingly venture out on it. Nellie is leased at all times near the river from now until breakup in the spring.

Only 2 days into the new year and I've already got a few dishcloths knitted (for gifts during the coming year)and another bag to be felted on the needles. The largest fabric store within an hours drive is having a close out sale -everything is 50% off. While I am loath to spend money this time of year, I am going to venture into the city today to stock up on threads and some quilting cotton for some new pillows. I decided mine in the living room were in need of replacement over the holidays.....

A Cold New Year

A Week of Contrasts

I lay in bed for awhile after I awoke, too stiff to make the great effort to get up and reflected on the past week. A week of contrasts for sure. My two boys plus a girlfriend are here -that in itself is a contrast as it is the first time in 18 months they've all been here. It is quiet now as they are all still asleep, but when they are all up, the house rings out with voices and laughter, catching up on activities and adventures. Nellie, while loving all the extra attention is stressed as evidenced by the whining and terrible terrier behaviour of grabbing toys and shaking them. I am not a clean freak, but everywhere I look, there is evidence of kids -socks balled up and left all over, dishes in the sink, tables, computer desk, bathroom -who eats in the bathroom????? I do love them dearly but I am more used to my couple ways than I thought I was.
Christmas was not all I had hoped it would be. Christmas Eve day, I had a very bad fall. We were having our traditional family skate/hockey game that has been a tradition for 30 years now. Family/kids/grandkids, inlaws etc. from 3 to 87 participate. I'm a good skater but as I was skating along talking to a cousin, I tripped ??? and fell headlong onto the ice. Instinctively the hands went up to protect my face and as a reult I hit the ice fully on the chest. The wind was knocked out of me and I recalled the only other time in my life when the wind was completly knocked out of me was when I was a child of 9, playing baseball and the batters ball struck me in the chest. It took what seemed like forever to get even a little air in my lungs again. That was it for me. JJ helped me off the ice to the change room. I thought I should likely go to the hospital to get checked out, but knowing they don't do anything for ribs if they are cracked/broken and our small local hospital is notorious for 6 hour waits to see anyone I opted to just go home. After all I reasoned, I had 20 people coming this evening for dinner, preparations to finsh and it was going to hurt more tomorrow. I enjoyed the evening thanks in part to painkillers and 2 pomegranate martinis -couldn't do cleanup and could hardly get into bed. I am a side sleeper -that was out, but lying on my back felt like I had a truck sitting on my chest. I didn't get alot of sleep, I was so uncomfortable, could only breath very shallowly and even that hurt. JJ said I moaned all night -I don't recall. I admit, getting out of bed in the morning made me cry. Once I was up I was better, but oh was the chest wall hurting, Again I carried on with the traditional breakfast for my husbands sisters and my own family. It was simple and JJ helped a bit. Oven bacon, eggs, cinnamon buns and fruit. I stayed home while Lindsay and JJ went to pick up Ryan and his girlfriend who arrived early afternoon by train from Toronto. We went to watch my sister in laws grandchildren and family open gifts and have dinner -which I love -young children are so much fun at Christmas. With the help of pain killers I got through the day -retired early with a double dose of muscle relaxants.
I still haven't gone to get checked out but as for a self diagnosis I'm sure I have bruised ribs with possibly a few cracked ones. I checked some medical sites for descriptions. I skipped the traditional Boxing Day extended family gathering and stayed home by myself so I wouldn't have to pretend I was OK. I'm not OK but doing the typical mom thing I want my kids to eat well when they are home and enjoy themselves. When they are gone I will really be able to relax and recover before returning to work next week. I received some great books and yarn as gifts -we were hoping to go skiing but that's out for awhile......skipping the whole Christmas thing and going to a tropical island with hot sunny beaches and warm turquois water sounds really appealing....maybe next year......